Coffeehouses are the hot, new first-date spot because guys say it’s ‘less of a commitment’: ‘They’re very low stakes’
Things are steaming up at coffee shops.
More and more, singles are going on first dates at NYC coffeehouses rather than meeting up for drinks or a full-on dinner.
Staples like La Colombe have seen an increase in first dates happening at their various locations. Danbi Lee, manager at the Bryant Park location, shared that they see about 10 to 12 dates at that location alone per week.
“Coffee shops, particularly La Colombe and many others in NYC, provide a welcoming and secure environment for dates,” she told The Post. “Their relaxed ambiance and thoughtfully spaced seating foster easy conversation, while the background music remains at a comfortable volume, eliminating the need to raise your voice as you might in a bustling bar.”
As an employee who has witnessed lots of coffee dates, Lee noted that on top of the advantage of seeing your date in daylight and with a clear mind, these interactions can also give insight into a person’s character, such as how they respect baristas and café staff.
“Similarly, if you value organization and cleanliness, take note of how your date leaves the table. Did they tidy up after themselves, return their dirty dishes or dispose of their trash? These seemingly minor habits often mirror how they maintain their personal space at home,” she said.
But those doing the dating are thinking less about the subtle signs a potential suitor can take away from a coffee date and more about the practicality.
“It’s less of a commitment, especially meeting someone for the first time,” Jon Buret, 26, told The Post.
He explained that going out to dinner is a big time suck, which is “just too much pressure” when you’ve never met the person before — “whereas if you go on a coffee date, it can go very well, and you can springboard from that into something else, like dinner.”
And the personal trainer, born and raised in New York, suggested that people who turn down a java jam may harbor ulterior motives.
“Personally, it sends the impression that they just want to get a free dinner as opposed to getting to know someone,” he admitted, sharing that he was rebuffed after asking someone out on a one-on-one caffeine klatch.
“They said they ‘don’t accept’ coffee dates because they feel like it’s low effort,” he said. However, he admitted that coffee dates are indeed “low effort, high reward.”
But the art of the meetups is all about execution.
Charlotte Craig, 27, told The Post that she prefers a coffee date if she’s previously never met someone and they’ve only exchanged a couple of messages.
For a new suitor with whom you don’t have rapport, “coffee dates are good because they’re very low stakes and can easily be adjusted for timing,” she said. “You can sit at a coffee shop for hours if you really click, but if the vibe is off, you can be in and out in under 30 minutes.”
However, if you’ve been talking for a while, an exchange over espresso also can come off as “very lazy and implies you are just being cheap,” she said.
The environment is also an important factor that can make or break a coffeehouse date.
“Anywhere that isn’t a sterile metal table is good,” Craig said. “I want to sit on a couch or a comfy chair; otherwise, it feels like a job interview.”
For those looking for a place where the vibes are right for a coffee date, here are five of the most romantic spots around New York City.
The smell of alluring blossoms mixes with freshly brewed coffee at Ariston Flowers & Café, one of the more enchanting go-to’s in New York.
Plants and blooms, swapped out by season and occasion, surround you, seemingly transporting customers away from the city’s hustle and bustle. And if all goes well on your date, you can fan the flames by grabbing a fresh bouquet from the in-house flower shop for your coffee-sipping companion.
78 Fifth Ave.
Book lovers — or those who appreciate a good book collection — will feel right at home in this cozy spot.
Bibliotheque is a café by day, a wine bar by night and a bookstore at all times, home to more than 10,000 tomes. The café offers food from Épicerie Boulud — of chef Daniel Boulud fame — as well as coffee beans from Onyx Coffee Lab.
It makes for a good first-time meetup, according to Buret, who says it’s his go-to.
“It’s beautiful, it’s my favorite place honestly,” he shared. “I think it’s the perfect spot for a first date.”
54 Mercer St.
Café Flor’s splashy, split aesthetics will make just about anyone feel comfortable. One side is dark and moody with painting-lined walls, while the other is light-filled with plants and two-person tables surrounded by flowers. It also is a coffee shop by day and a bar by night.
218 Eighth Ave.
Each location of Felix Roasting Company in Manhattan stands out on its own.
But they all wrap visitors in an inviting upscale, nostalgic space, whether you prefer Italian mahogany and custom wallpaper at the West Soho outpost, hand-drawn murals and patterned terrazzo floors in Nomad or whitewashed oak walls and plush sofas at the Soho outpost.
450 Park Ave. South, Nomad; 145 Greene St., Soho; 525 Greenwich St., West Soho
This quirky, cozy café will instantly brew conversation with your potential match.
Peppered with an adorable sheep motif, streamlined wooden tables, floor-to-ceiling windows and plenty of homage to its Scandinavian roots, Kaffe Landskap is a unique environment that sets it apart from the competition.
When it gets darker, the rustic vibes are enhanced with candles on the tables and lights throughout, setting the scene for a romantic rendezvous over brew.
401 Greenwich St.
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